Babysitting Harry
by TheMarauderOfAIS
Summary: When Lily Potter leaves the marauders in charge of the baby Harry, they don't realize the experience they're in for. They get locked out of the house with the baby in. And end up in a muggle police station.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE: Following Orders

a/n: Hey there! Welcome to chapter one of Babysitting Harry. Please feel free to leave a review! I really enjoyed writing this chapter and hope you feel the same way about reading it.

Trrr-trrr! Trrr-trrr!

The muggle phone was ringing at Potter Cottage. It was Seven o'clock in the morning on a Saturday.

"Hello", Lily Potter answered it. Her husband James wasn't accustomed to waking up any time earlier than Nine on Saturdays. "Potter residence, Lily speaking".

"Hi Lily!", an excited loud voice replied. Lily smiled, she knew only too well who that ridiculously loud voice belonged to. "It's Sirius. How are you?", he asked. He could barely contain his excitement.

"Hi Padfoot! I'm fine. How are you? It's been quite a long time you know. I was starting to think you might have gotten stuck somewhere with all the muggle-ishness", Lily said. She was grinning.

Sirius let out one of his bark-like laughs.

"I'm alright. Yeah I know, these muggle phones are quite hard to use. The large ones on the streets in Rome didn't accept the money I put in. Turns out, they have different currencies for each country. The money I put in is used only in England. Stupid muggle systems. I've gotten a bit of a tan by standing out in the sun so much, but otherwise, I'm doing great!'', he said.

Lily laughed.

"How's Harry doing? Does he miss me? Ask him for me won't you. How's James? Is he up by any chance?", Sirius asked.

"Nope, James is still asleep. You know how much he likes to sleep late on Saturdays. But I'm pretty sure he'd break his head trying to get down here if I told him you've called. Of course Harry misses you. He likes to keep watch out the kitchen window every morning for you. How's all your adventuring going? How do you like the muggles?", Lily asked.

"Tell Harry I'll be back by Wednesday. The muggles are pretty nice actually. Especially the tour guide. He offered to help me sort my money out. Probably thinks I'm a nutter though", Sirius laughed again. "Speaking of nice muggles, isn't your sister Petunia on holiday Lily?", he asked.

"Yes, I think so. She's gone to the seaside in Italy with her husband and little son. Why do you ask?", Lily replied.

"The thing is...", Sirius began, sounding guilty, "...I met her in Rome, at the beach. Her husband Dursley wasn't exactly nice you see. He kept looking at my hair and scowling at it. But being the gentleman I am...", here Lily couldn't help but snort, "...I asked them to dinner anyways. I'm really sorry Lils but I couldn't help myself. I just had to do it"

"What did you do do Sirius?", Lily asked. After Six years of having finished school, Sirius Back still couldn't help but cause trouble wherever he went.

"He _told_ me my hair was too long!", Sirius sounded like as if that was the most offending thing ever. Lily smirked at this, "So I charmed him to fart throughout the party. You should have seen it. It was hilarious!", Sirius finished.

Lily fell down on the sofa. She was laughing so hard she could barely stand. The thought of Vernon Dursley farting in a tuxedo was a little too much, even for her, to handle. Obviously Sirius was laughing at the other end. "I'll. Get. James. See you. On. Wednesday", Lily told him in between fits of laughter and went up the stairs.

She opened the door to the second bedroom upstairs. Here, James Potter was sleeping in a huddle under the sheets. Lily poked him. "James! James it's Sirius. He's on the phone downstairs! James!", she wispered.

The reaction was just what one would expect. James Potter sat up really fast. His eyes were wide open though he looked half asleep. "Really?", he asked.

"Yep", Lily replied plainly, handing him his glasses. "Go on then, get downstairs", she pushed him out the door.

Taking the steps three at at time, James reached the phone in a record breaking Thirty seconds, though in all the excitement, he forgot all about this achievement.

After finishing his breakfast-which consisted of some mushy baby food-Harry Potter wobbled over to the window seat in the kitchen of his parent's home. He was a fat little boy, almost a year old, with round hands and feet. This made it quite hard for him to move around. His father lifted him up and onto the window seat. Harry smiled at him, who smiled back. With his chubby chin in his hands, Harry watched the backyard door with patience. He was waiting for Sirius.

This had been his daily routine for almost a month now. The reason being, the back door was where his Godfather- Sirius Black- came in to their house through every Saturday. His reason being only formal people entered through front doors, or bothered was Wednesday, the day Sirius had said he was coming back from his month long trip around the world.

And sure enough, there was Sirius Black, at Ten-Fifty Five, looking exactly as he had always, with his dark hair upto his shoulders, misty Grey eyes, t-shirt and Black jeans in place and looking a tad bit tanned, at the garden gate. He grinned at Harry, who giggled at the prospect of having someone to amuse him for hours at a go. Sirius was fun because he let Harry play with his things and didn't mind the baby drool.

"Look who it is!", Lily said to James and Harry. She was standing beside him and waving at Sirius ,who was now coming in to the kitchen from the back door without bothering to wait for an invitation.

"What's up Padfoot?", James asked him, hugging him in a manly way. "How was the tour?"

"Great! Hello Lily, how's is going?", Sirius let go of James and asked Lily.

"Brilliant Sirius", was Lily's bright reply. Sirius spread his arms out as to hug Lily, he looked back at James. "Nah, I wouldn't do that to you mate", he said and shook Lily's hand instead.

Sirius walked over to the window seat and picked up Harry. "And how are you?", he asked Harry.

Harry beamed up at him. Then pulled a few locks of Sirius's hair.

"Ouch!"

"You deserved that you wife-hugger!", James said.

They laughed.

"So Lils, you going to Mary Prewetts baby shower this weekend?", Sirius asked her.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

"What? Didn't you know? Baby showers are the new hot topic in Italy. Everyone talks about them", Sirius said.

"I can't go. There's no one to look after James while I'm gone", said Lily. She was folding the laundry.

"You mean Harry", James corrected her.

"Not really. I _was_ talking abou you James. Remember that time I went to my mother's place for Two _hours_?", she asked them.

Sirius smirked. "He burnt up the kitchen trying to make pancakes", he said.

"Exactly!"

"Hey! It was Harry's fault. He's the one who asked me for pancakes", James said defensively.

"I can look after both your kids iif you want me to", Sirius offered.

"And come back home a fortnight later to find Harry alone and the two of you in jail for trying to break in to the house because you lost the keys? I'd rather not, thank you", Lily said. "But of course, if Wormtail or Mooney agree to help you then I can seriously consider"

"Oh so they won't loose your keys. Each of them are more forgetfull than _both_ of us put together", said James.

"Forgetfull but responsible", Lily reminded him, finishing folding the last of the clothes.

"The baby food is in the cupboard, don't forget. I've left you an entire list of the things you should and should not do in the sitting room. There are extra sheets in the storeroom but I made up the guest beds for all of you. Sirius don't sleep in the garden, you'll catch a cold. James, you _can_ see without glasses for a bit. My bedroom is off limits even for cleaning and or other situations. You are to go in there only if your life is threatened. The bathrooms aren't for making potions. No bugs inside the house especially the kitchen. I'll see you all in a fortnight then!"

"Gee Lily that's a lot of things to remeber" Sirius remarked. "I'm bound to forget something, you know".

"That's why I made you each a rule book", Lily smiled as she handed them each a manual titled; how to not burn up the Potter residence in two weeks.

"Thanks...", Remus Lupin said, soundind very unthankfull when he was given his copy.

"'Rule number one, do not dispose of this manual as soon as you get it'. Wow that's pretty thorough Lily", Sirius said.

"Thank you. Now I'll see you all in two weeks then. Bye Harry", Lily hugged her son goodbye. "Wow I'm such a bad parent. Leaving a baby at home with you four. Oh well!", Lily replied. "Bye everyone!"

After the departure of Lily Potter, which included a lot of fake protests from James and Sirius and a fairly considerable amount of eye rolling from Peter and Remus, the house took to immediate chaos. Which was surprisingly short lived considering the people who were causing it.

"Guys! Guys! We have an example to set! Stop jumping around!", Remus tried in vain to stop the other three men who were jumping on the couch and eating ice-cream. He sat down beside Harry and watched all the commotion instead.

a/n: Wohoo! Yeah boing! First chapter's up. Please review. I'll post the second chapter when it's done. Did you guys like it? The next chapter is where the story really begins. It's gonna be pretty funny. Did you peeps like how everyone is?


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO: Changing Diapers

a/n: And welcome again, charming people of the world of fanfiction! Thank you very much to everyone who favourite d, set this fic on alert and reviewed. Your responses have encouraged me very much. Please review also as I would love to hear about your opinions and suggestions.

Thank you, as always, to my extremely talented friend Serinal (check her out) for introducing me to the world of fanfiction. A very special thank you to mrs peeta mellark 2.0 and the Guest for reviewing. Do PM me if you'd like to say anything. Without further ado, chapter 2 friends...

* * *

James Potter was definitely not cut out for this job. Neither were any of the other three gentlemen, who had most kindly assigned him the position of ''Diaper Changer'' to Harry when James was away in the bathroom. 'He's your baby mate', a very happily grinning Remus told him, when James complained about the unfairness of this horrid job. 'It's only fair that you get to see him without clothes. Just imagine what he'd feel like around us if we did it'.

'But he likes you guys better!', replied James, who was now feeling very, very betrayed. Mumbling to himself, he carried Harry up to the kitchen table. Sirius was (most unfortunately for him) sitting here at the time, eating his third post lunch snack. He raised his eyebrows at James. 'Is he going to nap here?', he asked James, looking rather annoyed.

'No, I'm changing his extremely full and stinky as hell diaper', replied James. 'Remember? Peter already told me it was entirely your idea. So I think you deserve this', he said, the evil grin on his face growing more evil every second.

Sirius looked at him, horrified. 'You would not', he said, looking in turns between Harry, James and Harry's loaded diaper.

'Actually I _will, can _and am _going to', _said James. It was only fair that Sirius witness first-hand all the wonders of changing a baby's diaper. He bent down to pick up the squishy toy ball Harry had dropped on the floor. Under the kitchen table was the small ball of Fruition's ever lasting sweetness bubblegum James had left there last month at dinner. _Today's my lucky day!_, he thought.

James picked the gum off the table and popped it in his mouth. _Sirius would be so jealous_, he laughed evilly in his mind. Looking up he called out 'Padfoot?'.

Judging by the looks of the place, (which now looked like some natural disaster had come over it) Sirius had run for it. 'Guess it's just you and me then, Harry', he turned to Harry and smiled. Harry giggled back at him. 'Oh yeah, make that you, me _and_ a stinky diaper', James laughed.

He looked at the pamper. It was White and had prints of animals on it. He poked at the lump in the bottom, it was mushy. _Now how on earth am I supposed to remove it?, _James thought, scratching at his chin. 'Definitely more complicated than I thought. Now where is that manual Lily left?', he wondered out loud. He was sure she had said something about leaving it on the kitchen table, or was it the washing machine? James picked Harry up, seated him on the baby seat and gave him a bottle of milk. 'Stay here Harry, I'll be back', he said to the baby and walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were sitting in the living room at Potter cottage. They were watching a muggle rock band's music video.

"I should get myself one of these Fellyvisions", said Remus. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch and munching on some muggle snacks Peter had found in Lily Potter's kitchen cabinets.

"And these fried snacks", agreed Peter. "Pass me more of those cheese munchies Moony", he held out his fat palm absentmindedly.

Just then Sirius Black ran in looking like he was a murder convict who had escaped from azkaban.

"What's up with you mate?', Remus asked him. Peter was too busy gobbling up a bag of crisps to notice the new arrival.

"There I was, eating a sandwich, minding my own pleasurable business when James ran in with Harry', replied Sirius. "He was going to expose me to some things I'm really not ready for", he finished. "Is that popcorn?", he asked, immediately running over to it and snatching the entire tub from Peter, who looked devastated at this.

"What things?", asked Peter, he looked unhappy the thievery that had come his way. "Padfoot can I have some of that?".

"Baby poop. Here", said Sirius, handing Peter the popcorn and plopping down on the sofa.

Remus laughed.

"Has anyone seen my 'how to not kill a baby in two weeks manual'?'', asked James. He had just entered the living room and was now looking under the many piles of clothes and food for the aforementioned item.

"Not really", said Remus.

"Nope'', said Peter.

"Actually, I remember seeing it somewhere", said Sirius, to everyone's extreme shock and disbelief.

"What?"

"You?"

"Impossible..."

"Where Sirius?", asked James.

"Sheesh! You made me forget where with all that stupid commentary. What do you all have to say for yourselves? The one time I can _actually_ help one of you and you people messed it up! Don't you know about my limited memory span?", Sirius said.

"Pssh, calm down Sirius, no need to have a kitten._ I_ know where all of our manuals are.", said Peter. "At my mother's place. I thought we might not need them so I let my mother use it for her dog, Fe-fee.", he said, sounding very important.

"What are we going to do now?", asked James in utter desperation. "None of us know how to change a pamper. Bathilda is on holiday and I don't know any other girl!"

"Girl...", said Sirius, he seemed to be thinking. "Astral!", he shouted out.

"What?", asked Remus.

"Not what, who. Does Astral Miracle ring a bell?", asked Sirius.

"The only girl from Hogwarts that wouldn't go out with you back then and still wouldn't?...", guessed James, "...Yeah I remember her", he said.

"What about her?", Remus asked.

"She's a girl.", said Sirius, like as if that explained everything. He got up and went over to Lily's writing desk. Pulling out a new parchment he sat down at it and started writing something. "She'd know how to change pampers and stuff"

"Astral probably doesn't know half as much about kids than we do. She's not girly _or_ married remember?", said Remus.

"She may be a tomboy but she's obviously better at babysitting than we are.", said James.

"What does Astral work?", asked Peter curiously.

"She designs witches robes' patterns in London.", said Remus. "But Sirius, what on earth are you going to say to her? 'Astral could you come over. Harry's pooped his pants and we can't figure out a way to change them...'?".

"Presentation Moony, it's all in the presentation. Done", said Sirius. "I'm going to run down to the post office. You lot better clean up, we don't want to give a bad impression. Even if it is Astral we're talking about", said Sirius. He went out of the living room and got his coat before leaving for the post office.

"You might want to sit Harry in a bucket until then James, we don't want poop all over the place", advised Remus. "Come on Peter, let's clean up the house"

* * *

a/n: Boo-yeah! Second chapter done. The next chapter will show Astral. She's a school friend of the marauders and Lily. She's not real but then again, we really don't know much about the people in the marauders' time. I didn't want to have someone popular like Alice Longbottom come over because she already has Neville right to look after right? But don't worry, Alice is like an exact girl version of Sirius. She's lazy and everything hahaha. =D Hope you guys liked this chapter. Please review!


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